Tag Archives: rape culture

Next Time Someone Says Women Aren’t Victims Of Harassment, Show Them This.

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http://www.robot-hugs.com/harassment/

Used with permission from Robot Hugs.”

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Powerful Video Reminds Us All What Rape Is Really About

Powerful Video Reminds Us All What Rape Is Really About

“…NCFW is an ambitious campaign meant to “to change the problematic attitude of a country toward half of its population.” Since 2013, co-Directors Ria Vaidya and Shreena Thakore, both undergraduates at Brown University who grew up in India, have been conducting workshops to spread their message of combating sexual violence. They state in this video:

Gender policing by definition is when you force an individual to behave a certain way because of their gender. So, for example, if you see a man crying you tell him, “Stop acting like a girl.” Or if you have a daughter who really loves playing football, but you enroll her in singing class and not football class … because girls are supposed to like artsy things and not supposed to like sports, you are gender policing your daughter.

 

What is the connection between gender policing, which is so common … and something as heinous as rape?

It’s an excellent question. Gender policing can be extremely subtle and is often well-intentioned, making its harmful effects all the more difficult to spot. Nevertheless, it is all around us, from the pink aisle at the toy store to popular — and problematic — parental affirmations such as “boys will be boys.”

Image Credit: Twitter

To be clear, gender policing certainly does not actively endorse rape. But it does foster an environment in which men and women are expected to behave in a certain way, and implies that they may be punished if they don’t. One of gender policing’s most egregious forms, for example, occurs when a society valorizes female purity and, by default, demonizes promiscuity — that is, a deviation from the way society says a “lady” should act. 

When it comes to power dynamics, these types of societal expectations are very troubling. As the video points out, “The kind of mindset that feels like rewarding a female for acting and appearing like one is not very different from the mindset that feels like punishing a woman for not acting like one.” Such a mindset can allow things like slut-shaming and victim-blaming to thrive. Taken to an extreme, twisted conclusion, it may even lead to rape…”

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Think Rape Culture Doesn’t Exist? Read This Vile Email Sent to a Witness

Think Rape Culture Doesn’t Exist? Read This Vile Email Sent to a Witness

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Almost Half Of Colleges Surveyed Do Not Investigate Rape, Report Says

Almost Half Of Colleges Surveyed Do Not Investigate Rape, Report Says

“…According to the report, institutions failed to comply with laws regarding handling sexual violence on campus in various ways, including failing to have a Title IX coordinator, not knowing the scope of the problem on their campuses, not responding to students’ reports of sexual violence, not training students, faculty, and staff on preventing and responding to rape, and having biased or harmful procedures for adjudicating sexual crimes…”

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What ‘Affirmative Consent’ Actually Means

“…At its very basic level, this is the opposite of killing the mood — it’s about making sure the person with whom you’re about to have sex is excited about having sex with you.

Making sure someone else is enthusiastic about what you’re doing with them requires you to consider their wants and needs, think about how to bring them pleasure, and ultimately approach sex like a partnership instead of a means to your own end.

It’s admittedly somewhat of a departure from the way our society often approaches sex; recent studies have found that most college students feel uncomfortable voicing their desires during sexual encounters, and there’s a gender imbalance in whose pleasure is prioritized. But the emphasis on getting consent isn’t an effort to turn everyone into rapists. It’s just about encouraging better communication across the board…”

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by | June 30, 2014 · 7:32 pm

Watch a Brave Woman Teach a Man a Lesson for Sexually Assaulting Her on the Subway

“In 2010, Nicola Briggs felt a man rub himself against her while riding an uncrowded subway train in Manhattan. Briggs turned around to find, to her horror, that the man had exposed himself and was wearing only a condom.

While this type of sexual assault is startlingly common, Briggs’ story took a unique turn. A tai chi instructor, the 5-foot-tall Briggs fiercely confronted the perpetrator in the middle of the subway car.

“Oh, you’re getting f—ing arrested. I’m not leaving your side,” she told him, enlisting the help of other passengers to keep him in check…”

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by | June 24, 2014 · 6:58 pm

Becoming Better Victims

When rape victims are told that it was their fault, when young women and girls are told that they must cover up their “distracting” skin and curves, when they are told to not walk home alone, when they are given pepper spray as presents for dorm life, we are teaching them that they need to become better victims.

When children are told to stand up to their bullies, when they are told to stop the personal expressions that attract bullies’ attention, when they are taught preventative self-defense, when they are given bullet-proof mats to protect them in a school shooting, we are teaching them that they need to become better victims.

When minimum wage workers, the unemployed, and the homeless are told that they need to use more ingenuity to get by, when they are told to manage their personal budgets better, when they are criticized for not being able to support their children, we are teaching them that they need to become better victims.

When LGBT individuals are told that their sexuality and gender expression is a choice, when they are denied their existence and livelihoods, when they are denied dynamic roles beyond the typical stereotypes in popular culture, we are teaching them that they need to become better victims.

When “minorities” are criticized for having high unwed birth and single mother rates, when they are seen as less capable of academic and financial achievement, when they are seen as dangerous criminals and drug addicts, we are teaching them that they need to become better victims.

When people are encouraged to use guns for self protection, when they keep hidden defenses in their purses and wallets in case they get abducted or kidnapped, when they switch to the other side of the street to avoid walking by dubious-looking others, we are teaching them that they need to become better victims.

 

Instead of examining why rape, sexism, racism, classism, homophobia, and other forms of arbitrary discrimination exist and why society produces these horrors, we are placing the blame on the victims.

We are saying: it’s your fault you were targeted, it’s your fault that you have big breasts for a 13-year-old, it’s your fault that a multi-million dollar corporation does’t pay you a living wage, it’s your fault that your school district does not teach comprehensive sex education, it’s you fault that you’re gay, it’s your fault that American prisons are for-profit and have capacity quotas to meet, and it’s your fault that you couldn’t defend yourself during a mass shooting, a robbery, or a rape.

We are saying, you are the one who is wrong.

We need to turn around and instead examine why the rapists rape, examine why the bullies bully, examine why the CEOs don’t pay a living wage, examine why the homophobes are homophobic, examine why “minorities” are given unfair treatment in the eyes of the law, examine why the murderers murder, and examine why the kidnappers kidnap.

We need to fully examine an individual’s journey to victimhood and see if it’s actually the fault of the victim as we are often too eager to assume in this society. We are brainwashed into thinking that it’s the victim’s fault that they’re in the position they’re in. I’m arguing for deconstructing that idea and re-examing how they became victims, and then pursuing/punishing those whose fault it actually is. I would argue that, more often than not, it’s not the victim’s fault that they’re a victim.Victim-blaming just perpetuates the cycle and it needs to change, now.

 

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